


how my dreams they spin me 'round, and how my dreams they let me down

by fullmetallizard



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5834254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetallizard/pseuds/fullmetallizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inuyasha shares his fears about his newborn daughter with his wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how my dreams they spin me 'round, and how my dreams they let me down

**Author's Note:**

> No matter how much I wish I did, I do not own Inuyasha.

Kagome rolled over onto her other side to get more comfortable and lay blinking sleepily into the darkness for a few moments. After a moment she could make out her husband sitting cross-legged against the wall, staring hard at his knees.

“Inuyasha?” She asked, voice still raspy from sleep.

“Yeah?”

“What are you…what are you doing, honey? Did the baby wake up?” She propped herself up on an elbow and looked over to saw that the baby was asleep on her own palette, close to theirs. She turned back to Inuyasha, brow furrowed.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m just…keeping watch.”

Kagome felt her face soften a little. She rubbed her eyes and let them adjust to dim light of the moon pouring in from the window. She studied her husband, taking note of the circles under his golden eyes, the tired way his ears were drooped. He looked almost as worn out as she felt.

“You don’t have to do that. We’re all safe. You can just rest now.”

“It’s my job to protect you,” he insisted quietly.

Suddenly, the baby let out a tiny cry, angrily clenching and unclenching her chubby fists.

“Is she okay?!” Inuyasha’s voice came out rushed, panicked.

Kagome smiled and took the girl in her arms, “She’s perfectly fine. She’s probably just hungry.” She tried to get into a comfortable position to nurse as she adjusted her clothes.

“Inuyasha?” She asked after a few long minutes of silence. She kept her eyes trained on the tiny, dark-haired girl she and the love of her life had made together.

“Yeah?” She figured he had no idea how absolutely exhausted he sounded.

“Have you slept… _at all_ since Hana was born?”

There was a pause. “No.”

She looked up. “Inuyasha! You haven’t slept in _six_ days?! Are you nuts?”

He looked over at her and his eyes were surprisingly stormy and hot with…something. “What’s wrong with wanting to protect my wife and baby?! It’s my job. And besides, I don’t need sleep like the two of you do.” The anger in his voice clued her in to the emotion in his eyes- fear.

“But you _do_ need sleep,” she pointed out gently.

“Keh.”

For a few minutes the only sounds in the room were their steady breathing and Hana snuffling softly as she nursed.

“I’ve been having nightmares,” he finally admitted so quietly, she almost didn’t hear. “I fell asleep the night you gave birth and I’ve dozed off a few times but I just keep having nightmares.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” she said, tone solemn. “What are they about?”

“Naraku coming after Hana, mostly. I see her shattering like Kanna did. I know…I know we defeated him. I know he’s gone and that we’re safe but…Kagome, look at her.”

Kagome did. Hana had finished and was cuddling close to her mother, her triangular black ears turned down sleepily; twitching every time her parents spoke. Her lids were closed but Kagome could easily picture the muddy gold of her newborn eyes.

“She’s so tiny and she can’t do anything on her own. She has no instincts yet and she needs us for everything. I have to make sure nothing happens. I have to keep watching out for her.”

“There’s no threat, Inuyasha,” Kagome answered, taking her free hand reaching out for her husband’s arm. “You still need rest. You’ve got to be at your best to protect her, right?”

His mouth twisted at this. “I guess,” he nearly whispered.

 Kagome took her hand back, pulling the baby away and fixing her clothes back. Hana whined at the loss of contact and Inuyasha reached for her. Kagome handed her over and he started to burp her.

Kagome lied back and watched him handle the baby, hands still slightly nervous and unsure, as if he might break the little girl in his arms.

This was odd when Kagome thought about. He had more experience with babies than she did. When she was still in the modern era, Inuyasha had often babysat Sango and Miroku’s twins. The only experiences she had with child care were Shippo (who she honestly considered her child in her heart) and Sota. And she’d been so young when Sota was born.

But she found motherhood coming naturally to her. Her limited experience, memories of her mother, and Sango’s readily given advice left her feeling relatively calm. Well…calm compared to Inuyasha, whose hands hadn’t truly stopped shaking since the day they found out they were going to be parents.

Hana burped and Inuyasha went to lie her down on her futon again but the girl gave out another tiny cry.

“What’s wrong now?” Inuyasha asked, turning to look at Kagome with worry written clear across his features.

“She just wants to be held a little,” she answered softly, feeling the fatigue pulling at her eyelids once again.

“Here,” he said, holding Hana out.

“No, Inuyasha. You do it. She wants her dad.”

He studied her face for a moment and then nodded, holding the baby awkwardly to his chest.

“Tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart.”

“Nothin’.”

“Inuyasha, I’ve known you since I was fifteen and I’ve been married to you for three years. Do you really think I can’t tell when something’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

She felt a flash of anger but she let it pass before answering again. “Don’t lie to me,” she said quietly, suddenly sad that he would. “Please.”

Inuyasha’s guarded face softened a little, his eyes regretful. “I’m sorry. I…I don’t…it’s just…” he stammered, trailing off.

“Just what?” She asked, watching how he looked down at Hana with such love on his face.

“I don’t know how to be a parent, Kagome. I didn’t…I didn’t really have them.”

Kagome suddenly wanted to cry. It hurt her heart to think of her husband’s past as an orphan.

“What if I screw her up?” He continued. “I have no idea how to do this.”

“Hey,” she soothed. “I’m just as clueless as you are on this. Having parents yourself is just a small part of it. We have to grow and learn what’s best for Hana, together.”

“But what if I’m not what’s best for her?”

“Well…you love her, don’t you?”

His hold on the baby tightened. “Of course I love her!”

“You want her to be happy, don’t you? You want her to be healthy?”

“Obviously.”

“Inuyasha, that’s all that matters.”

He blinked a couple times. “It can’t be that easy.”

“Of course it’s not easy!” She laughed a little. “This is going to be the hardest thing we’ve ever done. We’re probably going to cry together and want to scream. We’re going to get frustrated and angry. We’re probably going to feel like we’re not good enough.”

His ears drooped and his shoulders sagged a little.

“But,” she continued. “I love you and you love me. And we both love her. As long as that’s true, we’ll be fine. It’ll all be okay.”

Slowly, her husband’s grip on their daughter became more comfortable. He looked much more at ease. “Well,” he said, stroking the sleeping baby’s cheek. “If that idiot Miroku can do it then I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“Inuyasha,” she said, suppressing a smile. “That is not nice.”

“Thank you, Kagome,” he said, tone gentle.

“Anytime,” she answered, voice just a bit slurred from how tired she felt.

Inuyasha yawned

“Hey, c’mere,” she mumbled, reaching for him.

He moved to positon himself beside her, nestling the baby between them. Inuyasha kissed her forehead, keeping his lips there for an extra few seconds. He laid down, his face almost instantly relaxing. He started snoring after a few minutes, something he only did when he was truly exhausted.

Kagome smiled a little and tried to swallow down the fact that becoming a mother made her miss her own with a passion. It broke her heart that her mom would never get to meet and know Hana. It hurt that Hana would never get to meet the woman who raised her and would have been the best grandmother of any era.

She missed so many things about where she grew up.

But the prospect of tomorrow with her tiny family made those feelings a little easier to bear. Come to think of it, her tiny family made everything else seem a little brighter.


End file.
